Sigh...

Well, I went for DF3 (Design Fundamental 3) mid-term review. This was the time we get our butts owned by the (in)famous Che Mad. For those non-FCMers, let's just say that Che Mad is not someone you want to tick off.

So, I went in for my turn. I got a pretty bad scolding. Things such as:
~ My subject matter wasn't relevant to my design statement
~ My work is last-minute work(kind-of true...)
~ There are no captions whatsoever for my precedent studies(I was following everybody...)
~ My layout was terrible(like almost everyone else that went before me...)

But here's something weird. It seems that our head lecturer is a bit temperamental. Could be just me walking in on the wrong time(stupid me...). Before me was a girl who got owned seriously. So, that could be the reason I got owned. (By the way, I actually didn't want to go that early, since his mood was not really good during the girl, but since I need to work on my English assignment...). Apparently, you need him in a good mood to minimise the "impact". Well, I got it head-on, full-force, 100%...

Sigh... Well, at least my one-week break would be well-occupied. :)

OK, that's done, so all I'll need to do is to find a brand new subject matter to work on...

I am discouraged... So discouraged...

Why did God place me in MMU?

Why did He choose to separate me from my friends?

Am I even really cut out for this?

At times I just feel like giving up...

At times I just feel like surrendering...

At times I just let myself be washed away by the waves that continuously pound me...

Is He seriously planning to isolate me?

I can't even go to events that I want to go because of this accursed place...

I can't go to Royal Rangers Survival Camp this week...

I can't go for missions at the end of the year because of the accursed schedule...

I can't even gather with my friends from secondary school!

I just feel so discouraged...

Nothing ever seems to go right...

It's like even He is stopping me from doing what I am able to do...

I just...

Seriously...

Feel...

Like...

Giving...

Up.

I felt like I just died on the inside.

I felt like a piece of me just got ripped away by God.

Without them, then who am I?!

I am so lost...

Am I truly supposed to be here?

If I am, then why am I suffering?

If I am, then why am I crying?

If I am, then why am I so discouraged?

I. Just. Want. To. Give. Up.

But God doesn't even give me that pleasure.

So I keep pressing on...

Pressing on...

Pressing on...

Without a purpose whatsoever...

P/S: I am crying while writing this.

I AM SO SCREWED...

I AM SO SCREWED...

Assignment Count:

Computer Graphics 3: QuarkXpress remake & Flash remake

English(yes, English): Acting

Design Fundamental 3: 20 pages for mid-term review. Current page count: 7.

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This is not funny.

Not funny at all.

I can do CG3 on Tuesday... English is just a while... But DF3...

It is just a pain in the @$$...

I can't even push past 15...

Curse Che Mad for asking for that number...

Sigh... Can't touch BioShock until I'm done...

This is not fun.

Not fun at all.