Man, Andy's message (read: sermon) really hit me...
Now, I keep questioning myself:
1. Am I supposed to be here(as in MMU)?
2. Am I supposed to be somewhere else?
3. Why am I not anywhere else(Limkokwing, The One, Taylor's, INTI, PJCAD, UTAR... and the list goes on...)
4. Why am I stuck here?
5. Am I supposed to do this(Creative Multimedia)?
6. What part do I play in this big jigsaw of God's?
7. Why do I constantly feel like I'm alone?
8. Why do I feel that God has something totally different for me?
9. Why am I scared?
10. Why am I crying on the inside?
11. What does HE want with me?
I AM SCARED... I AM VERY AFRAID... I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S AHEAD...
I AM LEFT BLIND... I AM FREAKED OUT... I AM DOUBTFUL...
YES, I AM INSECURE!!
I still don't know how I survived 18 years in the dark... with no sense of direction whatsoever...
I AM SCARED...
DO I STILL GO ON...
WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW!!!
I AM SO SCARED...
P/S: Sorry for the lack of updates. Been sick. Still sick. Avoid me like the plague. BTW, this is no emo post. Now, excuse me while I go wallow in self-doubt.
I AM SO SCARED...
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2 comments:
December 17, 2007 9:45 PM
hey :)
I wallow in self-doubt every semester. And I worry like nobody's business about the coming semesters. haha. But it's perfectly normal to feel that way sometimes.
Just know that it's not a coincidence that you're here in MMU. Just do what you can for Him on campus and about ur course, trust me, Jacintha and I ask the same question ALL the time. "What are we doing here...why did we take this course...should've just taken a housewife course or something..."
take care! *hugs*
December 17, 2007 11:08 PM
Yeah, but now there's another problem: how do you fit in when you're the odd one out? Seriously, ever since primary school, I WAS the odd one out. The only boy who could speak English well in primary school, the only boy who could write a long essay in secondary school(besides being the most emo one). I'm the piece of another puzzle, struggling to fit in this one... Sigh...
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